I visited my nemesis ob/gyn today

It's been 17 months since I saw him. I know, I'm bad, but hear me out.

First there's the urine sample (Nothing like aiming for a thimble-sized cup you pray you don't drop).

Then there's the flimsy paper gown that I always sweat through (So it sticks to all my parts.)

They weigh me...after I remove my jacket, my shoes, ALL my jewelry, and I suck in and think light. (Horrible.)

They poke me; they prod me..."Just a little pressure, Devin." (Humiliating.)

They check places I've never been checked before; another lovely benefit of turning 40. (Horrible AND humiliating.)

Then there are the questions:
birth control?
fiber?
calcium?
Are you STILL breastfeeding?
mammogram?
more children?

Finally, there are the comments:
You look...good.
Your weight is fine; your not OVERweight...remember, you're tall.
Sagging is simply a part of aging.
You breastfeed a LONG time.
Having six babies is rough on a body.
Some parts will just never be the same again.

Yeah, good times. Let me go ahead and schedule my NEXT appointment!

Not.

Foliage envy and clearly I suck as a mom

Sutton (19) is smack dab in the middle of her first semester of college. With her back injury, red-shirting/not red-shirting, volleyball, tough college courses, trying to make new friends, missing her old ones, and being so. far. away. from home, she's been on quite the emotional roller coaster.

And to make matters 100 times worse, this past weekend was Family Weekend and she was the only volleyball player, and just about the only student on campus, with NO PARENTS. She went everywhere alone the entire weekend since all of the other students were with their parents.

Yeah, I'm feeling reeeeeealy good right now.

So, excuse me while I remove the DAGGER FROM MY HEART.

*deep, deep heavy sigh*

She and I did have a long talk last night which was nice, but she cried which made me cry and today I'm very upset by it all. Jimmy is going to see her in two weeks (yay for him) but I can't; I have to be home for the other children which TOTALLY STINKS! I love the other five but Sutton really needs me now.

Anyway, she did send me some pictures she took this weekend from all of the festivities.

















While everything looked gorgeous and, obviously, the colors in Virginia in October are insanely beautiful, the bottom line is I should have been there and I wasn't.

So much for supermom.

Granna and PawPaw came to see me

I initially tried to play hard-to-get and pulled it off for a while.





















But those two finally wore me down...














...They're just too fun!














And made this grumpy pumpkin plumb perky.

An embarassment of riches

You guys, I am in shock at the wonderful awards I was given this week.

Jubilee over at Notes of Jubilee awarded me some pretty snazzy "bloggy bling" in the form of this:



And isn't it pretty?!





Check out her blog, especially on Fridays, when she posts some of the most delicious recipes.

Then two great ladies gave me this award:








The first was that fun mom, Steph, over at Perpetual Chaos . She mentioned that she loves Texans so much that she married one. And we all know it's tough to do much better than a good ole Texas boy.

Also, my dear bloggy friend, Nikke, over at Mom's in the Fishbowl was kind enough to say that my oldest daughter, Sutton, and I look like sisters.

And she's not even all the way blind!

Ladies, you made my week. Clearly, this blogger world is quite the generous place. Thank you.

Sorry I couldn't help

Periodically, I check my site meter to see from where my readers are directed. Usually people simply input the name of my blog or they are pointed here via another blogger who has linked me. However, there are other times when a person has googled or searched words that inadvertently bring them to this site and often I am left to chuckle.

Here are a few searches I noticed recently:

How do I make mom happy?
Good question.
Topless moms
Um...no.
You're a stud
Gee, thanks.
Her boobs on fire
Ouch...I mean, really? You're kidding right?
How to make your mom happy in 2 minutes
For me? Chocolate usually does the trick.
Moms topless holiday pics
Okay, now I think you're just gross.
How to make your mom happy after a detention
Poor kid. Again, try the chocolate.

How very surprised those poor searchers must be when they stumble upon my blog only to discover how un-helpful I truly am. I mean, can't you just picture the little guy frantically searching for any way to make his mother happy?

Dude, seriously, do the chocolate thing; you won't be disappointed.

And to the boob guy, you stink.

Hang on to your perfectly pressed panties: Big news (to me) in the wonderful world of ironing

If you've read my blog for a while, you know that I'm a big ironer (okay, I'm a little iron-obsessed). I've ironed my family's clothes every day since I was a young girl and have always used Faultless Spray Starch to ensure that crisp/stiff result. However, one limitation of spray starch I have always grappled with was the flaking of the starch on dark clothes.

I drives me CRAZY.

Another thing I think I've confessed on more than one occasion is that I am also cheap. While I'm not the couponer I was a few years ago, I have been fortunate enough to have been living off my stockpile of many items including can after can of spray starch. Sadly, I used my last can last week and had to (GASP) pay actual money for more. I was shocked to see the new design of my precious Faultless Starch on the store shelf:








and rushed home eager to take it on a test run.

Oh. My. Goodness. I'm in obsessive/compulsive heaven.

The spout is non-clogging which I so appreciate after 20+ years of running nozzles under hot water and scratching the opening with my fingernail to release the spray. The spray itself shoots forcefully and evenly out of the opening providing even starch coverage. But the big news to me is that I can spray Hayden's and Landon's navy blue school uniform pants and all of those jeans I feel the strange need to crease and there is NO FLAKING.

Please join me in a collective moment of silence.

Wordless Wednesday: Poor scarecrow. Poor loved-so-much-it-hurts scarecrow

No more tears

After several nights in a row of tearful showers, Landon decided to take matters into his own hands. I walked in and discovered this:















He's nothing if not innovative.

Barney's my BFF

Thanks to Barney and his oh-so-lovable friends I have about 25 minutes each morning to make a mad dash throughout my house and clean the worst hit areas. Peyton likes to lounge in her baby-sized lawn chair and get lost in the perky upbeat songs and the toddler friendly motions. She watches the big purple guy all the way through at least once and then throws a wall-eyed hissy fit if I try to turn it off, even though she's following me around and no longer interested.
















Some days she sits on her wooden bench and bites kisses her baby as they watch together.














And some days a big brother's helmet is required for viewing...






...which (most days) I promptly borrow when Barney has played for about six hours straight and I need to bang my head against the nearest wall.

Bling and cuisine

The girls and I had fun hosting a jewelry party yesterday for a dear friend. We were able to play with tons of beautiful jewelry from Premier Designs and enjoyed visiting with several lady friends who joined us for the party.

Reagan, Keaton, and I practiced our amateur culinary skills and attempted to put together a banquet table of sorts. Chocolate fondue was the main attraction.
















The icing on our figurative cake was extra time with cousins we don't get to see very often.


















Jewelry, food, AND family. Yep, it was a pretty great day.

One of the reasons I'm ready for Fall

It's a total girl answer, I know; but it's these SHOES:














Just looking at them makes me happy.

She, on the other hand, isn't feeling the whole "Fall love" thing. In fact, she seems downright perturbed.





















And, it seems, overwhelmingly indignant.





















Maybe she's just not into goofy pumpkin outfits.

Or maybe mommy and some pretty happenin' orange polka dot shoes, can lift a little girl's spirits.

Matrimonial fatigue

Landon (4): "Dad, did you and mommy get married in the afternoon?"

Dad: "Well, yes we did."

Landon: "Oh, so that was before you took your nap?"

Birthday in a box

Because I couldn't be there and because I wanted her to have birthday decorations, I sent Sutton a bunch of birthday stuff to help commemorate her day. Her suite-mates had already decorated the bathroom (?!) they share, so Sutton and her roommate, Megan, used the decorations in their room.

It wasn't home, but it was festive!


Decorated bathroom. The girls wrote on her mirror, wrote out "Happy Birthday" along the wall, and hung pretty pink garland from the ceiling.














Birthday card. I love the Texas!



















I had to send some Halloween decor too.









And some regular old fun stuff.

















She spent last night at a volleyball match and studying. It wasn't like home, but that was probably her favorite part.