Thursday, December 11, 2008

Bah Humbug

Every year I like to decorate my home "Texas style;" you know, BIG. There are wreaths on every window and every window is illuminated by a cheesy plug-in candle. A huge wreath adorns the front of the house and lighted garland outlines the large entry way. Miles of garland with twinkly lights frame three very large mirrors as well as the entire staircase and across the second floor walk, and the tops of each and every level surface in my home. The mantel is covered in every conceivable Christmas do-hickey (that may be a regional expression). Each of the children's rooms has a fully decorated Christmas tree and little holiday crap nicknack's cover every spare inch of their bedrooms and bathrooms. My kitchen usually looks like the Christmas aisle at Kmart boasting a blue light special. Our family tree is covered with lights, ornaments, bows, baby's breath, rope, or whatever the theme of the year is in my head. I've even been known to wrap our luggage rack on the suburban with garland and battery operated lights and wire a big 'ole honkin' wreath to the hood.

My psyche My house it at it's best at Christmas time.

I go overboard, I know, but that's part of Christmas to me. We didn't decorate our house when I was growing up. Oh, my dad would run out and chop down the first sad looking "tree" he could find (and get away with), often as we walked out the door for Christmas eve mass. It just wasn't important in our family. So, in response, I feel the need to go all Grizwald with my kids.

Overcompensate much?

Yeah, probably so.

This year, though, my house looks positively grinch-like. NONE of the aforementioned decorating bonanza happened. Oh, we have a "tree," if you could call it that. It's really half of a half of a tree; so a quarter of a tree, maybe. It's one of those old fake ones that you add multiple layers of color-coded weapons branches that have long since lost their color-coded-ness(?) and we just kind of eyeball where they are supposed to go. And because it has to sit against a corner, we can only add the front half of the branches so the tree sits against the corner and not in the middle of the room.

The other half of the half is the top half of the tree that has some decorations on it, while the bottom half has been destructed by a certain 19 month old darling who thinks all of the "apples" and "balls" are for her own pleasure, so she takes them off and throws them, and breaks them, and hides them.

How embarrassing. I'm sorry you had to see that.

Next year I will be making up for this terrible case of parental underachievement. Twinkly lights and fake greenery on every surface of a home might be too much for some peope, but it makes me my family extra happy.


Gina said...

I'm feeling your pain Sister! I only have my tree and mantel adorned. I can't even put out presents because a lovely lil 2 1/2 yr old that lives with me thinks EVERY present is for her!! Oh-and she thinks SHE is to plug and unplug the lights..

Abbie said...

Oh my gosh. OH MY GOSH!!! Devin, you will never believe this: this is the first year that we have used our 'fake' tree, and to keep it from sticking out WAY too far into our living room, we took one side of the branches off so that we could push it up against the wall!!! HAHHAHAHA Oh it feels so good to get that off my chest. Thank you for being another crazy tree owner with me :)

Dave said...

We would be right there with you, but we are having Miranda's coworkers over for a party tomorrow. So, we are as decorated as we get around still beat us hands down when you aren't having an off year. I think Peyton has missed a couple ornaments on the bottom. :)

Anonymous said...

I LOVED the trees Dad brought home! Those are some of my favorite memories...

Anonymous said...

I LOVED the trees Dad brought home! Those are some of my favorite memories...