Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Checking in

This blog was born out of my desire to share a bit of my family, my life, and my thoughts with anyone interested. I began writing it in the hope that my children would someday look back on our oft over-documented life and be able to laugh a little, cry a little, and understand a lot. I put it all out there most days and don't regret it.

Lately though, as many of you have noticed, my usual post-a-day habit dwindled and eventually stopped. I can't really explain all the reasons why; but I can say that my momma always told me that if you can't say something nice about something, don't say anything at all. So I'm not sayin' because it doesn't feel nice...at all.

And while I won't talk about what's been happening, I can talk about what I've been doing. I've been pressing in, re-evaluating, de-cluttering, re-focusing, and re-assessing my mind and my surroundings. I've been peeling back all the layers of me to expose some wretched vulnerability. Not fun, yet I've determined that forced self-discovery and putting a spotlight on one's life is great way to lose that left-over baby weight I've been griping about for almost 22 months.

I have been blessed with numerous comments on my last post, emails, calls, and text messages from sweet, sweet readers, friends, and family members checking in and making sure everything is okay. And while I can't say all is okay, I can say it will be; in fact I don't even know yet what "okay" will look like, but I will get there...eventually. I'm just feeling quite defeated, very deflated, and incredibly disappointed, but I know my God is much bigger than any of my problems and my focus will remain on Him.

Thank you all for checking in. I had no idea anyone out there would even notice; you did, and I am so thankful for each and every one of you.

23 comments:

yolie said...

Thank you for the update. You and your family will be in my prayers. May God pour His blessings over you and yours and may your light shine bright once again. Take care and God bless.

Pshannonpr said...

So, so glad to hear from you, but so sorry that you are feeling this way. I love reading people's blogs just like yours, and I get so incredibly frustrated when others feel like they can judge or criticize someone's attitude, beliefs, etc. Disagree, fine, but do it in a way that is respectful and civil. I have been praying for you daily since you stopped blogging, and I will continue to do so. Please know that your voice is missed, but don't continue if it brings you more pain and strife that it brings you joy. I've been blessed to know you.

Annikke said...

Thanks for the update - I will be thinking about you and keeping you in my prayers

Anonymous said...

Devin...I will be praying for you and your family...I know life can be hard...He is there for you...put your trust in Him...God is bigger than all of our problems...praying for you...Keep us posted...

Debby Warren

Stephanie said...

Hi Devin, you don't know me, but your blog has been an inspiration and encouragement to me as a mom. I was concerned when I noticed that the posts stopped and prayed. Our God is a mighty God. Praying He will bless you and yours with His peace today.

Anna B. said...

praying for you and your beautiful family...

Ginny said...

Hi Devin
I have followed your blog for a long time. I appreciate your wit and humor, your creativity, and your energy (all that ironing!). I appreciate and share in your faith, recognizing that those seasons in our lives when it all seems wrong and life is not as it should be are also the times when we can look fully into God's eyes and know that He is in control, He loves us unconditionally, and He will not disappoint us. Lord bless you abundantly, dear one.

Courtney said...

I've read your blog through MKHKKH (one of my greatest friends) and love them all. You are so well written and your family is adorable.
I hope you are well. Thinking of you.
I'd love to invite you to my blog, but would need an email. No pressure, LOL!

Anonymous said...

I love you Mom...always and forever!

:) Sutton

Anonymous said...

God knows your heart. Trust that God is walking beside you with what you're going through now and that when this season is over, He will show you what "okay" really is. Stand strong and know that along with God your friends and family are there with you.

I've watched your family grow, sometimes in person, but mostly from this blog. I've not written until today, because every time I've been ready to write, Shelley beat me to the words.

Much love in Christ,
Susan

Anonymous said...

Thank you for updating. You and your family and loved more than you know.

Anonymous said...

Hey Devin...Just wanted you to know I was praying for you today...Whatever the situation, put Jeus first...He is your stronghold! Hope you're doing ok!

Debby Warren

Amy Amy Bo Bamey said...

I am glad you updated, I have been checking in daily hoping for a update from you. Sorry to hear how you have been feeling. I will continue to think of you and keep checking in. I hope you find the strength you will need during this trying time.

Natalie said...

Devin,

I can't imagine what could get such an optimist like you down but you are in my thoughts. I also understand about the "if you can't say anything nice" theory.

Sometimes just knowing that you are not alone in your feelings can give you that little extra strength to go on.

I'm not there in person to give you a smile or share your troubles but we are all here in silent support.

I hope that things get better and you are inspired to share stories from your beautiful family again. If you decide not to post again, know that you will be missed but will remain in our thoughts.

Miss you!

Nat

MKHKKH said...

Hey Devin,
So I am a true blog stalker and had to get to your sister to make sure you were ok. I am relieved you are not physically hurt but can feel your hurt across blog lines. I will keep you in my prayers.

Linda up north said...

Oh my heart is heavy to hear you are in distress... I am praying for you. May God hold you tightly as you go through tough times.
With love from a fellow mommy and friend in Christ..

Devin said...

Thank you all so very much for your comments. I hope to join the land of the living relatively soon. Your prayers are appeciated.

Anonymous said...

You are a strong woman and your children follow by your example. I know you have been beaten down emotionally and will make a wise decision for your family for their best interest. Trust in God as your family trusts in you.

Helen said...

Follow your heart! Stay strong!!!

Helen said...

Follow your heart! Stay strong!!!

Anonymous said...

Glad for the update! You are such a light to soooo many people, folks you don't even know! We'll pray harder! Miss you all and love you
Jeni

TiffanyB said...

I have really missed you and I was very worried. I have been praying for you and I love you very much. Walk in His ways!!

Roselawn said...

Wow... I am impressed with how many comments you have from your post. You really do have a lot of people who care about you! May you stay focused on God as you deal with whatever is troubling you.

Sherry