You're welcome, Sam Walton

I was out of so many necessary items for my family, Mr Walton, that I thought my two youngest and I could run quickly and painlessly in to your warehouse club this morning. The children had eaten, the little one was changed, older one had already gone to the restroom, and they were both in good moods.

Little did I know that the trip would be neither quick nor painless.

As we made our way through your massive aisles, I obviously added to my basket too often as the sheer weight of my buggy plus two children was more than I could push, therefore tugging and pulling became my only option. I was able to increase our momentum to a steady coast and only a couple of fellow patrons were seen hurrying out of our way as we eventually slid into a checkout line an hour later.

I smiled at the clerk despite the fact that the total of my bill rose and rose in direct correlation to my temperature and blood pressure; I had to remove my sweater. Who spends this much money on groceries? A piece of real estate maybe, but groceries?! Imagine my surprise when the cashier told me that my annual renewal fee was going to be automatically added to the total as well, making my amended sum for my family of eight just shy of the cost necessary to feed a small country. Gee, Mr. Walton, you're some guy. Did I even have a choice?

And isn't it handy that your other store, the big box "mart-y" one, sits adjacent to this one and my list of gotta-haves was still long. The little ones and I loaded those items (yeah, they're a big help), drove to our next destination and trudged through the "super" part, picking up odds and ends. Because of the sheer amount I had just spent "clubbing" across the street, I was much more contemplative in these purchase choices.

And how nice of you, Mr Walton, to have that Mickey D's restaurant conveniently located right there in your store. I'm sure you had no idea my four-year-old would make me pay for his good behavior by forcing our basket towards those cardboard golden arches. However, thanks to the nausea I was experiencing due to the sudden drop in our checking account, lunch was a bargain in comparison.

Yes, Mr. Walton, your stock definitely went up this morning and your heirs are sittin' even prettier. On a more positive note, I was able to bypass your gas pumps, your car wash, your salon, your tire service and your eye doctor today, but I'm sure you'll get the rest of my money later in the week.

Sincerely,
Devin
broke mom of six