Monday, December 10, 2007

An open letter to Santa Claus


Dear Santa,

I'm really freaking out here. I still need gifts for my six children, all of their grandparents, nieces, nephews, teachers, my husband, my children's friends (and more that I'm forgetting), and I have absolutely nothing. NOTHING!

I'm rethinking the Devin of Thanksgiving that volunteered to host Christmas for both our families. Where on earth was my head? I've got carpet covered in stains, chipped paint on my walls, my tree is now only half decorated thanks to these two boys, no presents to wrap, the garland is not up, our Christmas cards were printed wrong and the picture is fuzzy.

I ran three unsuccessful errands this morning, the baby has explosive diarrhea, hubby is on a trip to god-knows-where, my computer has been on the fritz, I've run children hither and yon, and my four-year-old has decided his new favorite word is "damn" (that he pronounces like the redneck, "da-yum") which he heard on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

(Okay, I admit I think that word but I don't say it, thankyouverymuch, so it's not my fault.)

You see, Santa, I do all the work, yet you get all the glory:
My child's friend: "Say! Where'd you get that cool gadget?"
My child: "Isn't it great?! Santa gave it to me!"

No credit goes to mom who schlepped through the cold and rain to purchase said gadget, or spent time, when she should be sleeping, searching online for the right style, brand, and color. And then there's mom having to justify to dad why she spent all that money, when all he can see are dollar signs and all she's hoping to see are their little faces light up when her suck-me-dry-yet-I-still-love-you-dearly children open those expensive (to me, 'cause I'm cheap) gifts.

Christmas is officially kicking my butt this year, Santa, and I felt you needed to know. It's hard work to do your job for you and it's quite the thankless gig.

But I'll do it this year like I've done before and will do again, because while you are really starting to get on my last nerve, I still kinda like you and it'll all be worth it when everything comes together.

Besides, looking back at my ramblings from the beginning of this letter, I've created myself a little "To-Do" list from which to work. Things are already looking up.

Sincerely,
Your grumpy, yet improving, elf

8 comments:

Ginny said...

Bless your heart!
Ginny

Steph said...

Amen sista!

And I love the little "da-yum"...too funny!

Miranda said...

If you need a place to escape, my home will be empty over the holidays. It could be your own oasis.

jubilee said...

Oh, my goodness. I can so relate. We're in the midst of moving. Two weeks before Christmas! What were we thinking? And the kids keep getting this recurring sickness that won't go away. And husband has no packing skillz to speak of. At all.
So, I feel ya. I'll be glad when this is all over, 'cause ('da-yum,') I'm plumb wore out.

Andrea said...

You're "To-Do" list makes ME tired just reading it! Whew! How well does delegating work around your house (with you as the delegator, not the other way around!)?

MKHKK said...

I am in the same Scrooge boat. I have busted my rear to get "the big gift" this year and who will get all the credit?? SANTA. What a scam! And I willingly bought into it. Bah Humbug. LOL.

Mommy said...

I can't begin to imagine shopping for everyone in your family. However, Amazon.com is having some awesome sales with free super saver shipping and you don't even have to get out of your jammies to shop. ;) Here's a link to the sixth thread of tons of great deals: http://forums.gottadeal.com/showthread.php?t=94108 It makes shopping so much easier!

Devin said...

"Mommy,"
Thank you! Yes, I am a long time member of Gotta Deal and have been getting some really awesome deals lately. Thanks for thinking of me!