Tuesday, September 18, 2007

If you sprinkle when you tinkle...

...then you're probably my son.

I know it's still too early to complain. I mean, it was only a few short months ago that I was lamenting Landon's tardy entry into the world of serious potty training. A few weeks later he woke up, decided he was "big" and would no longer wear diapers, and he's been good to "go" ever since. Aside from some night-time/nap-time Pull-Up precautions, he is potty trained and I am so very thankful.

Since I know it would be counterproductive to voice my concerns directly to Landon, I am going to utilize this venue for a few of my (his!) potty issues that are driving me bananas. Please bear with me as I vent...quietly...so as not to cause any unnecessary toddler regression.

Dearest Landon,

I have some potty requests I would like for you to consider during your next trip to tinkle. I will say these as gently as possible so I hope you can feel the love with which I speak.

1. AIM! I'm not referring to a few little sprinkles that find their way onto the seat. I'm talking about puddles on the floor and the oft doused walls. My bathrooms, unfortunately will never be the same. And I know you can hit your mark because I've seen you spray your brother's leg from clear across the other side of the bathtub while bathing...and he's a moving target! You can do this! I have faith in you.

2. LOWER! The seat that you lifted to go can surely be put back down once you're done. You've gone from slamming the darn thing with such force that we thought you had broken the lid, to rarely putting it down and it is causing me great hesitation each time I enter. I have "fallen in" more times than I care to count and it just really grosses me out.

3. FLUSH! When you were younger, you would enter the bathroom simply to flush the toilet. You would flush it over and over and over until we had to start barricading your entry. Now I hear, "It's too scary, Momma. It's too loud!" when I ask if you've done it. If I insist that you go back and flush, you will run in, push the handle down and then fly around the corner, barreling over anything in your way. Trust me son, the toilet will not attack.

Now when I am able to steal away for a few seconds to use our facilities unchaperoned by you, our family tinkle-inspector, I have to wipe down the toilet and walls, lower the seat, and flush before I can even think about why I'm there. I just don't have the time to waste what with everyone needing me as soon as I enter.

So help me out Landon...PLEASE! I did this with your brother as well so I knew it was coming. But now I am older and more tired and just want to go to a clean bathroom relatively quickly. Is it too much to ask?

I love you,


(Ahhhh. I feel a little better.)

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